Want to Know How the Meeting will Go? Look at the Offering Plate

Things are about to get real...

Meetings are a part of every job; nothing new there. Meetings for teachers can mean many things: a pat on the back because test scores came back, discussion of what we (and by we I mean "teachers") are going to do to work some magic, a conversation about a parent complaining because little Johnny (it's always Johnny) wasn't allowed to express his individuality by wearing his "Bye Felicia" tshirt, or some "new" revamped educational terminology is coming down the pipeline, and we need to be ready.

By using my keen intuition, I have figured out that by looking at the "offering plate" or bowl of candy on the tables at meetings, one can quickly know what to expect.

Here is my own personal gauge I use to determine how a school meeting will go:

1. No offering. Nothing, not even a mint-The meeting will be short and sweet, ergo there is no need to "sweeten" us up anymore.
2. Fruit-flavored candy (Laffy Taffy, Starburst, Swedish Fish, etc.) Let's face it; these are cheap, so nothing too painful will happen in this meeting.
3. Candy left over from the previous holiday-You know what I mean. It's January, and you get red and green colored Hershey kisses; it's December, and you get candy corns. You get the idea. The powers in charge want you to know they are concerned for you, just not enough to spend full price.
4. Dark chocolate-Things are getting serious, but not too bad because really dark chocolate is the reject of the far superior milk chocolate. With no disrespect to Milton Hershey, stop trying to sneak in the dark chocolate in a bag of miniatures by printing "Special Dark" on the label real small. There's nothing special about it. If it was special, it would be milk chocolate.
5. The primo pile of candy-Snickers, Kit Kats, Reese's, M&Ms...You know the stuff you steal out of your kid's trick or treat bag first when you are "checking it" for safety purposes. Go ahead and settle in and get comfortable because it's going to be a long meeting, and you are going to question if you're worthy to even wear your "Teaching is a work of Heart" tshirt on casual Fridays. In fact, you will want to contact your advisor in college and ask them why school meetings were never mentioned in all those educational classes you took.

Now don't get me wrong, any and all candy is appreciated...just some are appreciated a little more than others (much like the meetings we are required to attend).